Sunday, January 27, 2013


Many of us belonging to third generation Badettuans often think about our early childhood and get some what nostalgic about those days. This is not because our parents took care of us diligently, responsibly and affectionately but because of the freedom we enjoyed. Probably this might have been due to too many children in each family varying in number from 7 to 10. Obviously which parent can devote that much attention to each and every one under circumstances considered very difficult in those days?. Financially many families were not very well off though we were never left to starve. The innate affection and love which must have been there, were not exhibited by our parents frequently giving us an impression that we were being neglected. Corporal punishment was a rule rather than an exception. Also to be remembered is that invariably every one from the third generation were naughty, mischievous and pokris with out any doubt. Whether it is because of too many children in the family that denied constant attention or because of the personality traits of each of us, the fact is that we were living a hectic life of intense activities, partly doing house hold chores or gallivanting with friends, some good and others bad! Of course we do realize our follies now, when we have grown to be toothless and weak in physical strength due to age but to day's youngsters seem to be different, better in some respects and worse than us in some other respect.

I, for one was an ordinary boy with an some brain and a good physique, brash enough to do any thing I felt like doing without thinking about its consequences. I often introspect regarding the thought process going through my mind at that time. Each day passed without any thoughts about what I wanted to become, my only environment being the hotel where I could enjoy good food like poori, dosa, vada, sweets etc. It is said that 99% is perspiration and 1% is inspiration for success. While all of us were not running away from perspiration due to hard work, what we lacked was probably inspiration to push us into more productive and motivated life. Of course we can never blame our parents because they themselves were not highly educated and their exposure to outside world was rather limited. Given such an environment, if some of us were able to reach where we are to day, the credit still goes to our parents who had enough common sense to think that their off springs need not pursue the same profession as that of theirs. Look at the Marwari community which trains its youngsters from day one to go for business and make them successful too when they grow up. Whether this is a blessing in disguise is very difficult to surmise. But education is always preferable to business, especially if one wants an even paced life with no ups and downs.

Here is an interesting story which sends a strong message that whether in business or professional career what is important is the human quality. There was a family with father, mother and a young girl living happily in a a nice home. One day the mother saw three old men sitting in front of their house near a culvert and she felt sympathetic to them imagining they were famished. She sent her daughter to invite them to have food in her house. But the old men declined the invitation saying that they would not come to a house where there were only females as the head of the family had gone out for some errant. After the arrival of her father, the girl again went and invited the old people. Though they accepted the offer, a condition was put that all three would not come together and the family would have to choose one of them. Further they identified themselves as synonymous with "love", "wealth" and "fame" respectively. The family discussed among themselves as to who should be invited. While the mother wanted the "fame" fellow, father preferred the "wealth" fellow. The daughter chose the "love" fellow and reasoned out that it is most important in life. When "love" fellow was invited he gladly accepted the invitation and started moving towards the house. What surprised them was that the other two also followed him! The moral of the story is that where ever love and affection are there, all other benefits follow in life. Hankering after money or high places by hook or crook in life, cannot take us any where and it is only consideration for fellow humans which will be rewarding!

Whether we were trained to love others adequately, one thing is sure, that is not to cheat or hurt others. During our younger days money was hard to come by as our parents were strict in giving unnecessary money to kids for the fear that children do not understand the value of money and its relation to hard work. If earning money was the only consideration Badettu family could have bought half the properties in Kollam and Alleppey easily with the earnings from the business! If Subbraya, Venkatraya and Ananthrama are remembered in Alleppey it is only because of their generosity to others. I have personally seen some of the bigwigs in politics those days standing before our house in the morning seeking money for one purpose or the other while father was doing his daily pooja, spanning about 2 hours! The landed properties bought by all the brothers while they were in business were jut enough for their families for a decent living. Ambition ( or call it greediness) was never there.

What a remarkable change that took place when there was the transition from third generation to fourth one! Fragmentation of the Badettu family into a series of nucleus sub-families during the generational transition had a telling effect on the parent-children relationship and practically every fourth generation member was brought up with lot of attention, love and guidance and no sacrifice was considered too high for these parents to put the children on a high path of growth towards becoming a good citizen and self-confidant human being. It is only after reaching adulthood we had to witness some aberrations in the relationship between parents and their off springs. Marriage which was sacrosanct earlier became more of an arrangement between two like minded persons with parents being more and more marginalized. Societal changes and rapid changing of the family concepts and environment sweeping India did not spare Badettu family also. While there appears to be a genuine demographic imbalance, skewing the ratio of males to females, parents are increasingly finding it difficult to find suitable match for their sons and daughters and number of eligible females seems to be declining dramatically. This is further complicated by high level of education among female members, aspirational goals to be some body in the society and thoroughly professional dedication and commitment to work which probably have sidelined the priority for marriage. Probably these changes are good and desirable for the future of our society where females are always considered an inferior human throughout Indian history.

What do the parents expect from their children when they grow up? Money, support, constant attention or subservience? It is very difficult to categorize parents into such demand compartments. There are definitely parents who force children to marry with persons chose by them irrespective of the feelings of their son/daughter. There are parents who consider that they have invested in their children and they deserve adequate returns for that! As a parent myself it was my expectation that they should give some respect, love and affection and make us feel that the life is worth pursuing, in spite of all our obligations completed on the earth when the children are settled comfortably. We are more than happy that these children and their of springs of fifth generation are making our lives more and more meaningful and happy. Such attitudes must come genuinely from within and cannot be demanded. One must remember the famous dictum which says that "respect has to be earned through deeds and not to be demanded through black mail or force".

When I look back I often wondered what my own father must have thought about me? At the age of 20, I left Alleppey, that too as per his wishes for pursuing studies though my aspiration was to be part of the hotel business. I can salute my father for his vision and recognition that I could become some body, better than a hotelier in life. Full impact of father's reliance, confidence and belief in me ( silent mode!) was realized only when he chose to make me the executor of his Will without even telling me before his demise! We may have differences with the parents, we may think they are old fashioned, we may think they are conservative but never question their credentials as well wishers. Matha and Pitha are first two Gods and Guru and Deivam come only after them. To day I am missing my parents more than any other time in my life and wish often that I should have been more communicative with them than I was actually. Alas, this realization comes after they have gone forever, never to be available for showing my love, affection and respect. May be i can do it one day when I meet them in the "other" world! All those youngsters with what ever idealism, motives, ambitions, aspirations, yearnings and what not, must make use of the rich experience and traditional wisdom their parents have, NOW when they are alive with them. To morrow may be too late!                

Answer to the last Quiz

Senior most member in Badettu family living to day is Padmavathi (Paddakkaya) who is living happily in Admar with one of her sons, Raghupathy. She is aged about 95 years. May God give her health and happiness for a number of years to come.

Quiz for the current issue

Name one of the third generation member in Badettil still associated with hoteliering?


Saturday, January 19, 2013


This year there are reported to be about 38 Dakkebali days as decided by the management committee, each sponsored by a person, organization or a village. Usually held between middle of January and middle of March every alternate years when there is no paryaya at Udipi, the number is decided by demand from sponsors and available days during this period. Generally the elders of Padubidri plan this event after the Navarathrii Thambila is over and decide the days on which Dakkebali can be held. As a thumb rule this is not held on Miondays, Ekadashi days and Amavasya days. Why Dakkebali is special to Badettu family? Our founder Narnappaya was a senior Pathiri in Brahmasthana for a number of years after being chosen by the Brahmeru and performed there for more than 3 decades. While the first and the last Dakkebali events are in the name of Padubidri village, the second Dakkebali seemed to have been reserved for Badettil. Here is a small description about it as understood by the outsie world.

"Dakkebali held once in every two years is one of the major events held in this region. It is held at Sri Khadgeshwari Brahmasthana temple in Padubidri, where Goddess Vanadurga resides.  Dakke, a small instrument, made of bronze and leather, is first placed in the holy place and then played by the possessed pathri moving spherically. Devotees carry their offerings, called 'Hore Kanike' in Kannada and 'Pude' in Tulu language, from the famous Padubidri Mahalingeshwara Maha Ganapathi temple to the Brahmasthana, in a long procession passing through Padubidri town, spanning more than a Kilometer, at times. The offerings mainly consist of fruits, flowers, tender coconuts etc.  Before the procession, 'Anna Santarpane' is held in which thousands of people will be offered free meals at Mahalingeshwara Maha Ganapathi temple premises, during those days when Hore Kanike starts from this temple.
Padubidri Dakke Bali-2011. This kind of a bi-annual worship is held during the certain nights starting from usually 14th January to 2nd week of March, except during the year when ' Paryaya Utsava' at Udupi is held. This year, it was held between 18th January and 12th March. This ritual always starts in the night and continues till dawn. At the end, the entire decoration around is pulled apart and everything on it, including tender coconut, flowers, fruits are offered to all the crowded devotees".

Here is what Vedavyas, the present "light house beacon" for Badettu clan has to say about Dakkebali: "Pathiris, persons who play Dakke are essential for this seva, besides the purohit, Devakari, Gurikars and countless volunteers. Dakke is a Damaru,like instrument. made of bronze or wood. It is played by hand like Mridangam or Tabla by the Dakke Pathiris.
The beating of Dakke is synchronized with the Tala play, giving a special musical blend that electrifies the atmosphere. Dakkebali is performed in other places also but the one Brahmasthana, Padubidri is exceptional and unique in that it involves Devi as well as Naga worship. While Nagamandala performed widely in south Karnataka to please Naga Devaru only, during Dakkebali there are Naga Pathiris and Dakke Pathiris are involved. The decoration of Brahmasthana with flowers, fruits, pingara (flower of arecanut tree), tender coconuts, starts immediately after the "Pude" from the sponsor is brought in. Those who do the decoration are volunteers from Padubidri village and they are highly experienced and adept in doing this job with speed and fineness. completing the task within a matter of 4-5 hours. Entire Brahmasthana is converted into a floral palace by the time the sacred function starts. Plantain stem sheathing cuts and designed green leaves are used to frame the "Devi Gudi" while all stone pillars are wrapped with Pingara flower , fruits, tender coconuts bunches, plantain bunches, and flowers of various hues and color transform the place into a majestic place. Full credits to those volunteers who do these decorations fresh every day when Dakkebali takes place.Probably the atmosphere so created sensitize the devotees to the presence of Goddess there blessing them."

Here are some video showing glimpses of Dakkebali that was held in 2011 ( Many believe that Dakkebali is a manifestation of Nature worship for which South Kanara, as this region was known earlier, was a reognized center. One can get an idea about this dimension from the following account.  The pathris who by custom belong to the Shivalli Brahmins of the place which is called Bengre in Padubidri. These pathris are not selected by the people nor compelled to play that role. They are in a way accepted as pathris by the presiding Deity of the place Khadgeshwari. When the Shivalli Brahmins of the place feel that they must have a pathri according to the custom, they assemble together in the local Mahalingeswara and Maha Ganapathi Temple, pray and proceed to Khadgeshwari Brahmasthana in a Bhajana (devotional songs) procession and arrive at the Brahmasthana. They continue to chant the sacred name of the Lord loudly by saying Govinda!, Govinda!, until they get a person of their community possessed by the Holy Chaitanya. There is a customary procedure in accepting the pathri of the place. The Shivalli Brahmins of the place who have assembled there will have to extend their formal opinion before accepting a new pathri by the Deity of the place. This opinion is called upon by a verdict given through existing pathri. When the Shivalli Brahmins of the place extend their consent. The family of the pathri is summoned to the holy place and was called upon to give their whole hearted consent. Thereupon, the pathri who is also called as koradu is accepted by the Deity of the place blessed with 'Abhaya' (assurance of protection of the Deity). The pathris of the place cannot perform as such in any other place without the consent of the Deity and the Shivalli Brahmins of the place. There used to be nine pathris once upon a time but now, only three. The viniyogas (work connected with worship) of this place are supervised by three persons of different family called Gurikaras who represent the Shivalli Brahmin community of Padubidri from each of the three families viz., Kornaya, Balappa and Murudi. For performing the pujas the priests belonging to Rajapurohit Class was chosen. The administrative work relating to the worship of this place is carried out by a trust called Sri Vanadurga Trust which has a centralized administrative system covering all seva activities. The Shivalli Brahmins of this place elect the members of Vanadurga Trust once in three years.

Dakkebali starts by 2 am on the appointed day and continues till morning but must be over before arunodaya as per tradition. According to those who visit Brahmasthana frequently during Dakkebali season it is a sight to watch all the Pathiris, dressed in special gears standing before the Gudi for the darshan of Devi. after waving the "Arati", each pathiri starting from the senior one, gets possessed of the Goddess. Each of them is then taken by the main Dakke Pathiri to the Mandala side though it requires two or three attempts before the other pathiris obey the main pathiri! Finally jumping, running and holding "Dondi" lights, shouting "Ho" they reach the Mandala. What happens there after is amazing and must be watched to admire the tradition evolved in this famous shrine over decades. After watching Dakkebali, at least once in a life time, it leaves an indelible imprint in the minds of all those participating this popular event in Padubidri. If our forefathers undertook tedious pilgrimage to places like Badrinath, Kedarnath, Gaya, Varanasi Rameshwaram, Tirupathi, Sabarimala, Vaishnodevi temple etc, there must have been some thing in their  mind which our present generation is not able to gauge properly.  Whenever any of us from Badettu Family take the trouble of going to Padubidri and watch Dakkebali will definitely miss our beloved Ajja (Narnappaya) who had performed the role of senior Pathiri there for a number of years though one can experience his presence there!


Monday, January 14, 2013


How may of us in Badettu family really believe in God? A very difficult question to answer? Of course it is difficult because no body might have seen the God in whatever name He is known. The Shivalli brahmins of Madhwa community are supposed to have migrated or brought from Bihar region centuries ago and settled in the area around the Shivahalli village which even to day exists in south Karnataka. If originally they were shaivites, how come to day their lives center around Krishna, a positive symbol of Vaishnavism? Whatever may be the past history, Madhwas are devote vaishnavites though they do worship all gods and goddesses.

Badettu family is a classical example of worshiping Vishnu in many forms, Rama, Krishna or Narasimha though they also pay obeisance to Shiva, Ganapathi, Durga, Subrahmanya. All the members of first generation were reported to be pious Brahmins following the rich traditions being followed by earlier generations. Who can forget the regular and elaborate morning poojas performed in the family houses at Padubidri, Kollam and Alleppey taking 1-2 hours to complete the rituals. Besides regular daily poojas, monthly Ganapathi Homa and Durga Namaskara rituals were conducted monthly and probably if the off springs of these ancestors are enjoying a peaceful and decent life, at least a small credit must go to them. If we believe in natural justice, the good things and bad things done by our ancestors do visit the later generations also. Measured by any yardstick Badettu family is indeed a blessed one and relatively small number of mishaps experienced by the generations that followed the second generation stalwarts reflects this fact. Added to this the founder of this family, Narnappaya had the divine blessings of the almighty Shakti as he was one of the most famous Pathiris of Brahmasthana.

A question often asked by youngsters from later generations is how relevant are the rituals being performed at home or in temples in to day's knowledge and science driven environment? Rationalists invariably point out that there is no God as no one has seen the same and every thing that happens in this world is pure coincidence! But these doubting Thomases are forgetting that "seeing is believing" is not always true. Has any one seen electricity and if so how does it look like? What about electrons and protons? Same is true regarding light waves and electromagnetic radiations. Every day we use microwave ovens but can we see this with naked eye? But we all experience their manifestation in one form or the other, don't we? Does not this inspire confidence and belief in their existence? Therefore belief in God gives a different dimension to life. When our fathers, mothers and other elders leave this world, where can we go as social animals, seeking solace, comfort and guidance? Of course the God!      

Here is an interesting story that may throw some light on the concept that we are being observed every minute of our life by some power and our life is after all a balance sheet of good and bad. In response to a job ad 10 candidates presented themselves for interview in a reputed company and each one was ushered in for the same to meet a panel of experts. The candidates were sitting in a room adjacent to the meeting place and as each one of them completed the interview, their reactions varied from despair, frustration, ecstasy, anger and abusive disposition depending on their performance. Only one person called as the last candidate was very calm, composed and quite without showing any of the conundrums of the others and after his interview he came out quietly and exited without uttering any word to others. When he got the appointment letter, he was a little surprised because he was not satisfied by the type of questions asked by the experts and disappointed by his over all performance. Before joining the job, he met the CEO of the company and expressed his desire to know why he was selected over looking the credentials of others some of whom were more qualified than him. To his surprise he was told that it was his disciplined behavior, systematic actions, orderly disposition, calm appearance, confident demeanor that landed him the job. The CEO further told him that all his qualities were observed by the expert panel through the CCTV installed in the waiting room!. Then came the realization to him that every human being where ever he or she may be, is being observed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days an year and throughout the life span and more good things one does, more will be the benefit flowing out of such positive actions. One may call it God or by any name!

 How many members of Badettu family has witnessed a Thambila or Dakkebali at Brahmasthana? Probably those, especially from older generations must have participated in these unique "seva" at this shrine, though the memories must be fading fast with old age. But the image of a huge person like Badettu Narnappaya performing the role of a pathiri cannot be easily forgotten. When "possessed" or in trance he was immune to any physical pain like the effect of burning wicks in his palm or the heavy thud when he falls on the ground. Similarly many people do humanly impossible acts like piercing a spear (vel) through the tongue or piercing their backs with metal hooks and being allowed to go in procession during thaipusam festival or walking on live embers with apparently no burns on their feet and all these cannot be easily explained by to day's science. All these are pointers that there exists a super natural force much above man and if millions of people in this planet irrespective of their religious affiliation go to temples, churches, synagogues and mosques, it is to seek possible protection and reinforce the mental strength to deal with day to day uncertainties of life. Why are millions of people go on pilgrimage to far away temples and shrines like Vaishno Devi, Tirupathi, Sabarimalai, Giruvayur, Badrinasth, Kedarnath, etc which involves treacherous journey causing intense suffering and lot of physical strain? It is their faith in the super natural power that they hope will solve their problems and help them to be happy in life!

Religion is a complex issue and no one can be a complete expert on it. With successive generations, the doubt about God seems to be increasing among many youngsters for many reasons. But also true is the remarkable dedication and reverence a few of the youngsters show even to day and one may ascribe this to the early training in the family with orthodox background. Is it not a pleasant surprise that the successor to the late Vokkaliga pontiff in Karnataka is a M.Tech engineer graduated from IIT, Madras? It is a truth that to day the number of temples and other worshiping centers is increasing by leaps and bounds as the complexity and unpredictability of life in the present day materialistic society are growing. If visiting such worshiping centers gives solace and strength to manage the day to day life better, there is nothing wrong and critics who call it "blind faith or superstition" better shut their mouth! Even psychologists agree that any activity that deflects the mind from issues worrying the mind can be beneficial to the person concerned.

I still remember my last visit to Admar when the much revered Paddakkaya, wife of late subbraya doddappa asked a very intriguing question regarding my living style. She wanted to know whether I still practice the mantra taught to me by our Ajja, Badettu Narnappaya, during my upanayana. Though I was flabbergasted by her sudden question, I just muttered that, though I do not remember all the mantras because of my sojourn away from my parents for almost 5 decades, I still chant at least 10 gayathri mantra every day where ever I am. She was so happy to hear that and gave her blessings unreservedly. Members of transitional generations like mine cannot abhor all the past practices but also cannot ignore them! Of course my contemporaries like Seena, Vedavyas, Vittala, Mohana, Govinda, Kicha and others still do their regular poojas every day without fail! Seena of Badettu House at Padubidri carries out faithfully all the traditional sacred functions started from Naranappaya's time regularly though he has settled down in far away Chennai. Can you believe that a person like Vittala, a reputed Chartered Accountant with name and fame in Alleppey can perform Satyanarayana Pooja effortlessly without assistance from a certified purohit? It is not known whether the fourth generation members are following the tradition of yesteryear. The Badettu Narnappaya and his brother Srinivasappayya traveled to Kerala several decades ago and earned their livelihood through shanti (daily poojas) in famous temples and even to day Narayana, son of Vasudeva of Kollam and Sethumadhawa son of Gopalakrishna of Haripad (third generation members) still go for Shanthi in some temples in Kerala though their children are well educated professionals earning good salaries, adequate enough to give their parents a comfortable retired life.

Having written a rambling essay above, I believe that God is within ourselves and more one helps others, more explicitly God expresses Himself in various forms. By helping others in need, you are helping yourselves!. All rituals and expression of Bhakthi through various means will have no meaning if you do not practice what Lord Krishna said to Arjuna; "do your duty to the best of your ability without thinking about the results, be it success or failure"

Answer to the last Quiz

Vasudeva, great grandson of Badettu Narnappaya, grandson of Subbraya and son of Raghupathi of Admar was the first post-graduate degree holder in Agriculture and to day he works in his specialized field of quality certification in agriculture including organic crops. Here is an example of how excellence can be achieved through hard work even if the environment is not so conducive to studies. Here are our wishes to him for holding the flag of Badettu family high in the coming years.

Quiz for the current issue

Who is the senior most living member of Badettu family?


Friday, January 4, 2013


Badettu family typically represents a cross section of Hindu family system where parents are revered and respected, at least till the middle of last century. Of course with "modernity" creeping through the society and education gaining upper hand over business, the traditional concept of joint Hindu family started disintegrating. This led to establishment of a number of nucleus families centering around the third generation members and many of them migrated to places far away from their second generation parents. This trend got accentuated with every succeeding generations and to day there must be at least over 100 nucleus families coming under the umbrella of Badettu clan settled in different parts of world!

Many of the members of third generation living to day have neither complete insight into the family heritage and practices nor the vision to foresee what is in store for them with their children and grand children. There are many instances in general where parents are left to fend for themselves during their old age and such stories of neglect are common in many parts of the country. But a moot question that arises is whether such a situation is totally unavoidable? Many youngsters of to day, after getting good education and good brides, invariably set their eyes to go "foreign" to seek their fortunes, realizing that India is a land of unequal opportunities with only some segments of the population eating the fruits of development. While the old age parents would like to see their children near them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days an year, they have grave apprehensions to migrate to foreign countries, even if their children are willing to take them, due to problems of adjustment. Probably many such parents migrated with their children feel that they are like parrots in a golden cage!

Here is an example of a family where the only son to the parents after getting a decent education and a bride of his choice, leaving his sick parents for a foreign land even without telling them! Imagine the trauma, emotions and frustration the mother and father of this boy must be going through thinking about their bleak future. In contrast there is another case where a boy, so closely attached to his mother, refused many chances to go abroad and finally bargaining with his employer to allow his mother also to accompany him, though he was also married to a bride of his choice. The million dollar question is what differentiates such noble character of the latter from the insensitive trait of the former. Is it the famous "pillow talk" of the newly wedded wife or his fundamental nobility of character that drives their behavior? Very complex question indeed!

A story that will highlight the importance of parents, especially the mother may be in order to illustrate the "motherly" bond that existed and still exists through eons. A busy son working as an executive in a high high profile private company had no time to spare to visit his mother, in spite of her yearnings expressed through phone conversation frequently. Since the dwelling places of son and the mother were separated by a distance of 500 km that will take at least about 10 hours in India, the son invariably broke the promise by not visiting his mother frequently and even when he visited it was for a few minutes on his way to some official work nearby. Finally he got an inspiration from his little daughter who chided him for not taking her to her grandma and he decided to visit his mother but on the way he had to return after receiving a call from his boss. On the way he saw a small girl standing on the road side thumbing for a lift and he was reminded of his own daughter which prompted him to take the girl to her destination, a few kilometers down. When he dropped her at a point on the main road, he was curious to know where the girl was going. He followed her and what he saw struck him as something awesome. The girl planted the rose bouquet in front of a field and kneeled before it for a few minutes. Later it emerged that the mother of the girl was dead some time back and buried there, making the girl come to the spot every year without fail to pay her respect and seek her blessings! That was a moment of enlightenment for him to realize his mistake that even though his mother was still living he had neglected her feelings of bonding! Thereafter, the story ends on a happy note with the son making it a regular feature of his life to visit his mother with family as often as possible and spending as much as possible.

In Badettu family of yesteryear, we have classical examples of both the above characters. Without taking any name the following cases illustrate the situation. We had a family of third generation where both father and mother were sick, living in an urban area and their five children, very amiable, soft and understanding type looked after them very well sacrificing their own future and comforts. Similarly there is another case of a second generation family with almost a dozen children which was a joint family with even children of other second generation families spending some years there. While some of the educated children migrated to other cities for professional careers, some stayed back looking after the business of their parents on behalf of the entire family. It was a typical example where parents could not get the comfort of spending time with their children to the extent they wanted, whether settled far away or staying in the same town but in separate houses! Those supposed to be looking after the parents promptly left the parents, built their own houses and became prominent citizens in the town. The needs of the parents were probably ignored giving them lot of frustration and anguish. What this means is that proximity of children does not guarantee fair treatment for many parents. When such situations arise, parents never curse their off springs but their desperation, anguish, feeling of helplessness and insecure mind may have some adverse impact on those responsible one day or the other! 

Badettu family must have a special place for mothers because "Ammeru" of Brahmasthana and Panchdurga Parameshwari of Indrani are the most favored goddesses with which family is closely associated. Though we do not know how the mothers belonging to yesteryear were treated in the house-hold of Badettu Narnappaya at Padubidri, it is reasonable guess that they had to bear heavy responsibility in carrying out many chores associated with earning a livelihood. However we do know that next generation mothers were kind, frugal, understanding, disciplinarians though some of them were subservient to their husbands. We cannot forget the venerated mothers like Tulsiakka, Paddakkaya, Kaveriamma, Janakiakka, Lahsmiakka and Sarawathiakka, all of whom deserve a special place in our hearts. Mothers in later generations should always remember that motherhood is divine and all of them must be treated with respect without imposing our male chauvinism on them.  

The proverbial mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law conundrum appears to have become a phenomenon in later years as new brides coming from educated families or with rich financial background always had different temperament and mindset. But such discords were far and few in Badettu family and with girls getting educated future mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws are going to be on par when it comes to intelligence, culture and behavior. Of course humans as they are, there can still be differences of views and opinions and as far as possible such differences must be defused by the head of the family promptly and decisively. Ideally a mother-in-law must be striving to be a mother also to her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law must try to be a daughter to the mother-in-law. Confused? If you respect an individual for what he or she is without aggressively demanding the same, you get respect automatically for whatever you are! Still confused? Try and try, thou shall succeed.      

Answer to last Quiz

The person who earned an engineering degree without enjoying any modern facilities and learning environment so commonly available to most of his cousins in comfortable houses in cities is none other than Sriram, son of Cheeya and Rema (from Ananthrama family branch). Any one who has visited the present conditions of Badettil will realize the extent to which Sriram was handicapped while studying his engineering course for four years. What is more amazing is that both his parents are not educated much and there were no senior persons in the family to whom he could have turned for advice and guidance.He is presently employed with a reputed company in Bangalore. Let us all applaud this boy for his sterling achievements!

Quiz for the current issue

Who among the fourth generation members of Badettu family can rightly claim as the first post graduate degree holder in Agriculture? Remember Badettu family was originally an agriculture dependent group and why there was none specializing in agriculture earlier is a mystery.